The Most Badass Sketch Card There Ever Was
My dad finally got around to making use of the pack of blank sketch cards I gave him when I bought my first packs some time ago. And oh did he ever it pwn it on his first try! I’m going to start scanning all his sketch books and make him a deviantART account and post his stuff wherever I can (been meaning to for awhile). He is a great artist, and where my brother and (allegedly) me get our mad artistic skillz. So without further ado, I proudly present to the world, the most badass sketch card that’s ever been drawn:
Chuck!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s right, it’s a sketch card of Chuck-Freakin’-Norris! My dad has been a big fan of Chuck Norris for a long, long time (decades before Chuck Norris Facts, the Walker, Texas Ranger Lever, or even Walker, Texas Ranger itself made it cool), so it’s only appropriate the man hisself be his first try at a sketch card. Pretty awesome huh? I like how he colored it, to give it an old-timey feel. I forget the exact colors, but he did this with gel pens. Not bad, eh?
Y’know, I Hear it Actually Rains Treats in Kitty Heaven
My mom emailed today telling me her cat died sometime today.
There she is... she looks annoyed, lol.
She was around 13 years old, so she was getting up there a bit, but hardly an old fart (especially considering one of the cats we had when I was younger lived to be 22 or so). You’d never have guessed she was well into her second decade, as spry as she was. She was in very good health, which makes her sudden death all the more upsetting. She hadn’t been on the decline at all, and I’m told she was doing quite well even just a couple hours before she was found dead in the closet in my parents room.
My brother drew this awhile back.
RIP Tater. I don’t think you liked me much, but it’s okay. You will be missed.
I Have Had Enough…
…of this fucking hellhole. Pardon my French, ahem…
So yeah, I’m having issues with my neighbors again. Here is the deal: I have severe sleep issues. For the last three years, people be coming and going all hours of the night, every single night, slamming their fucking doors. This has literally cost me HUNDREDs of hours of sleep that I desperately needed. In the meantime, over the same period, I have had the police called on me for being too loud, by the same damn people that have been keeping me up at night, at least a half-dozen times, the latest being verrry early this morning. They also complain about me to the office a ton as well. I have received at least three letters from them.
As if the total hypocrisy of that isn’t enough (I don’t care if they don’t realize it, it’s gotten *increasingly worse* for three fucking years), for the first year, or close to it, I actively did my best to be fucking quiet at night! And that was when most of the complaining happened. So I finally gave up trying after awhile, and had actually only heard the a smattering of complaints since. However, as I said, the noise they were making got so bad that a year or so ago, I took to punching the arm of my chair whenever they slammed a door or made any other kind of loud noise at night. And by now, I just do it almost instinctively to any noise they make any time of day. I just don’t care anymore.
Yeah, I guess that makes me not completely innocent. I’ve never claimed I was a saint. However, they are the ones that started it, and continue to cost me sleep. And no, filing complaints myself isn’t a very viable option. First of all, I have a mountain of complaints against me for various things over the years, exactly one of which can be considered legit. I have no trust in the people running this place anyways. In every instance I’ve dealt with them, they are a bunch of back-talking weasels. Even though they FINALLY did get the word out to try and keep people from slamming their doors, and it has actually worked to some degree, trying to get my point across was like pulling teeth. I’m pretty sure it was only done at all because I was so righteously pissed off I that I was physically shaking trying to keep my shit together when I was talking to the lady.
But of course, now that people are being *somewhat* better about slamming their doors, someone above me nearby has seen fit to start scooting something heavy-sounding across the floor every night. This sound actually bothers me more than the doors slamming. The slow, obnoxious scooting sound that lasts up to several seconds at a time is quite literally one of the most annoying sounds I have ever heard in my entire life.
Anyway though, last night it happened while I was trying to get to sleep, as in I was halfway to dreamland when it started in. I did what I do, I punched the arm of my chair, except really, really hard. Fucker did it when I was almost asleep. So I’m starting to get back to sleep a little later and I here some talking in the and then a knock at my door. Three cops are out there. Guess with that many, they must’ve been expecting some shit. I told them what was going on and that I just wanted get some fucking sleep, they took down my name, listened to what I had to say, and went on their merry way.
Well, I’m sick of it. If I had somewhere else I could go, I would not still be here, but I don’t so there isn’t much that can be done right now. I decided I needed to say something to the people causing me trouble though. So I wrote a note and put it on the cranky old bat’s door across the hall, since most my tormentors hang out together. It took me four tries to try and get out what I had to say, not holding back how pissed off I was, but still trying to keep it clear and to-the-point. Here is what I wrote in it’s entirety:
“Hi, it’s me. Y’know, you don’t seem to understand something. You guys started this shit with me. Understand this, the last three years, while you guys were complaining about my alleged noise all the time, you were costing me literally 100s and 100s of hours of sleep, slamming doors every. Single. Night. And keep this in mind, I did not start retaliating against y’alls BS in any meaningful way until a year or so ago. I even tried to not be loud for awhile, but I finally gave up when it proved futile.
What I’m trying to say is this, you guys have treated me like shit, even and especially when I was trying to be quiet. This is what happened on my end, this is what you did to me. Period. And I absolutely do NOT appreciate it. I don’t care if you care what you have done or not, but now you know. And know that I don’t like or respect almost any of you, that have caused me so much grief the last few years. That won’t change. You guys made my life even worse than it already was, to be 18-19 years old and end up in a place like this. This is how it is. Good day. I have nothing more to say to any of you, ever.”
Too light? Too heavy? Whatcha think? I’ve let the world walk all over me for too long. I had to say something, and I’m a much better writer than talker, so I wrote my heart out at them.
Alright, rant mode off. I just had to get this off my chest. I’m so sick of this place it’s not even funny. I’ve been treated like shit since I moved here really, but I mostly didn’t care until people started screwing with my already tenuous ability to sleep like a normal human. My next move is to file a complaint against whoever’s scooting stuff in the middle of the night if it continues. I know it’s something I should take up with whoever’s doing it before I complain, but I just have no tolerance for any shit having to do with this place anymore. I don’t think I can be respectful as I need to be, so I just have to file the complaint and be done with it and hope they can be arsed to do something about it.
Truth is, the only thing I wanted when I moved here was to be left alone, ideally so that my mental state could hopefully improve to the point where I’d be able to be completely self-sufficient someday, or if worse came to worse, a place I could slowly fade into oblivion. Morbid, but yeah… I was barely functional at all back then. It could’ve gone either way.
Fortunately, despite the constant string of shit I’ve received, I am getting better, and have no desire to fade into oblivion. And I have all my online peeps to thank for that. So for everyone I’ve been lucky enough to befriend online, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I don’t think I’ll ever think very highly of myself, and who knows if I’ll ever really make good on my alleged potential, but you’ve all given me the will to try and be a better, stronger, more worthwhile person.
Okay, NOW the rant mode is off. Have a great night, everyone. Peace, love, and fighting spirit. 
At the End of the Decade
The decade is coming to an end. We’re more than 2/3 of the way through it’s last year. The weather is beginning to cool as 2009 starts to wind down. It is a time of reflection, a time to look back, as we prepare to move ever forward into the great unknown.
My own personal ’00s weren’t so good. Growing up ain’t easy, and I found it especially tough. As I struggled and failed to find my way through, it was as if timed stopped as the new millennium began, and only now, as we approach it’s first decade’s conclusion, do I feel like time has started to flow for me again.
I don’t know what it was that started my life moving forward again this year after being stuck in neutral for so long. I don’t know if it was some outside force or something snapping within my mind, but something changed. The wheels are in motion once more, and I’ve begun to truly feel alive for the first time in a very long time.
Of course, I’m not close to where I want to be, the process of healing my troubled little mind has only just begun, but… it has started. I’m a little less depressed, a little more confident, a little less self-loathing, and little more proactive in keeping it that way. My energy level is a little higher and I’m doing my best to be active and focus a little bit better.
However, being out of circulation for so long itself wasn’t without side effects. I stand before you now as a 24 year old in body only; I’m stunted no less than a decade younger in emotional maturity, to speak nothing of life experience. It is a strange feeling, to be sure. The disconnect between my body and my mind is weird and kinda difficult to reconcile, but considering where my head has been for so long, it’s a comparatively minor issue. Heh.
So this is where I’m at, and it is what it is. And as 2009 goes around turn three and we head into the fall and the reflective feelings it inspires, what is it from the past 10 years that you will reflect on, as the decade comes to an end?
Until our next…
Pack Breaks Cuz I’m Depressed
Lots of crap is going on, bringin’ me down. So I’m gonna do one of the handful of things that make me feel good when I’m feeling like crap. Bust some wax!
We got a retail pack of ‘09 Allen & Ginter and a fat pack of ‘09 topps Chrome. We’ll do the A&G first, just because. Let’s get to it!
2009 Allen & Ginter retail (6 cards)
207 Jack Cust
111 Jason Giambi
66 Alex Rodriguez
346 Dominique Wilkins- Keeper!
259 Napoleon Bonaparte Regular Mini
NP33 Hanley Ramirez National Pride- Keeper!
That was a good pack! A couple of keepers in there, so I’m feeling a little better now. I’m typing these up as I open them, btw.
2009 topps Chrome fat pack (7 cards)
186 Trevor Cahill A’s RC- Jeez, we’re now three for seven on A’s.
59 Zack Greinke
W27 Alex Rios World Baseball Classic- Keeper!
97 Dustin Pedroia Refractor
42 Kosuke Fukudome- Keeper!
22 Justin Morneau
174 Matt Tuiasosopo Mariners RC
Nice! Two more keepers. A 4-13 keeper count is very good. I’m very pleased. I wasn’t really sure if I would feel better or not after busting some packs. After all, it is easily my most hit-or-miss way of feeling better, being squarely at the mercy of fate. She was kind today though, bringing a smile to my sadsack self. 
That’s all for now, folks. Thanks for reading!
Until our next…
Oh Yeah, I’m Supposed to be a Writer
… I guess I forgot for awhile while I was overextending myself on trades and pretending to be an artist. I think maybe it’s about time I get back to something I’m actually supposedly kind of good at. There’s many lifetimes worth of stories kickin’ around in my head, but one in particular is fleshed out enough for me to actually start telling it. So, once I get things sorted out on the trading front, I may well be going on lengthy hiatus again.
So yeah, I’m gonna try and be writer now. Legend has it that I have some skill at this. I think it was my first grade teacher that wanted me to mention her when I wrote my first novel. And the teacher of one of the last (and greatest) classes I took before the premature end of my high school days noted I had some talent for it, intending to have me take a journalism class the following year.
But alas, I’ve never even had the focus to complete so much as a short story, or even start many. And if you read into the last sentence of the previous paragraph, you know whatever talent I allegedly have is very un-edumacated. I’m out of practice too. I’ve hardly read any books since my mid-teens, and my only effort of note to write (dabbling in fanfiction) about four years ago flamed out after about six chapters. And now I’m going to write a freakin’ novel? Lolwut?
As you can see, I’ve got pretty much nothing going for me here… you may even be thinking I’m delusional. It’s a perfectly reasonable and probably correct assumption. After all, legit mental health issues aside, I’ve spent my 24 years of life skating by on “potential” and have disappointed everyone who has ever seen anything even remotely special in me. My mind burns out on things pathetically easily because I’ve never needed to put much effort into stuff to do well enough to just skate by.
To be honest, I don’t even think I can do this. I have no reason to think so. Nothing in my history says I am even capable of pulling off something even a thousand times easier. I’ll be lucky if I make it past the first chapter (and I’m being generous going that high). But… I have to try to make good here. I hate myself for failing the above mentioned people who thought I had potential (it’s… not a small number). I also hate myself for failing myself. If I had such mythical potential that so many of those people went to ridiculous lengths to try to get me going in the right direction, why am I in such pathetic place in life?
I’ve failed on almost every possible level, and it’s made me very self-loathing and miserable. I’m sick of feeling useless and worthless and helpless and hopeless. Worse, I’m sick of BEING all those things, and more. And for as little as I’ve actually written, writing is the one skill I have enough confidence in to try and make good with. Even if I’m stable enough, I’m never going to have the mental stamina to be able to work 9-5 or do anything tedious (no, writing isn’t tedious to me), so this is what I’ve got. I don’t think I can make good for myself or any of the people I failed in the past in any other way.
I’ve been a miserable shell of a person for over a decade, if not my entire life, but for some reason this summer, I’ve started to come out of it a little bit. Little-by-little, I’ve been finding myself capable of doing things I had no idea I could do.
So… I’m going to try to write now. I have no real expectation of getting anywhere significant with this project, as bad as I want to have some sudden crazy burst of whatever and write the whole thing in a month or two, but I will give it the best effort I can muster. It’s all I can do. Maybe I’ll get a little further than I think, maybe it’ll be a little better than I think. Maybe it’ll suck like Hoover. But even if I only manage to write a page & a half that isn’t very good, it will be better than nothing. It will be something. It will be a start. And maybe I can build on it. I guess I just have to do it, and keep at it for as long as my will can hold out.
~I’m a writer now.
The Least of the Best
Over at Wax Heaven, a question was posed: Which member of the 500 Home Run Club had the least impressive career?
Well, let’s find out… by looking at the statistics. They say the numbers never lie, so Baseball-Reference will be our guide.
Notes before we begin:
I’m not taking performance enhancers into consideration. We’re going purely by statistics. Deal with it.
Everyone with 600+ Home Runs are exempt from least impressive debate due to the sheer number they hit.
Triples and stolen bases are pretty irrelevant unless in abnormally high amounts, and even then only stolen bases are worth considering. Triples are too dependent on where most of a player’s games are played. In other words, it’s hard to hit triples at Wrigley.
We’ll start at the bottom, and work our way up.
~Eddie Murray~
Stats: 504 HR, 3255 Hits, 560 2B, 35 3B, 1917 RBI, 1627 Runs, 110 SB, 1333 BB, 1516 K, .287 AVG, .359 OBP, .476 SLG, .836 OPS, 129 OPS+
Awards: 1977 Rookie of the Year, 8-time All-Star, 3 Silver Sluggers, 3 Gold Gloves, Top-5 in MVP voting 6 times, 0 MVPs
+ 3255 hits, 1917 RBIs, and 560 doubles are all legitimately legendary numbers; Highly decorated, even defensively
- .287 batting average, .836 OPS, and 129 OPS+ aren’t quite elite
Notes: Overall, Murray’s numbers indicate longevity more than out & out greatness, but still an outstanding and highly decorated career with some numbers that are much too big to ignore. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with longevity.
He isn’t going to be the best of the bunch, but I highly doubt he’ll be the worst.
~Gary Sheffield (still active)~
Stats: 509 HR, 2683 Hits, 465 2B, 26 3B, 1674 RBI, 1634 Runs, 253 SB, 1471 BB, 1165 K, .292 AVG, .393 OBP, .514 SLG, .908 OPS, 140 OPS+
Awards: 9-time All-Star, 5 Silver Sluggers, Top-5 in MVP voting 3 times, 0 MVPs
+ Borderline-elite OBP, OPS, and OPS+; Considerably more walks than strikeouts; Highly decorated
- Hits are kinda low, but that’s due to missing a lot of time over the years
Notes: Sheff has actually played more seasons than Murray, but has more than 2000 less ABs. That’s FOUR seasons he’s missing out on, compared to Murray. Given the same number of at-bats, he’d likely be pushing 600 Home Runs with everything else at least being on par with Murray.
I have to put Gary Sheffield just below Eddie Murray, even if he does have a good excuse for his lesser numbers. What say you?
Okay, this is going to be way more time-consuming than I thought, and I’m getting really tired, so I will post continue it tomorrow evening. I WILL get this done though. There is just too much good debate to not do the whole thing.
The Lonestarr Personal Collection #4
Here’s the key card of a four card Donruss Americana II lot that I won cheaply on eBay many moons ago, Julie Newmar:
Catwoman~! 'Nuff said.
Actually, the caption is a lie. That’s not enough said! Julie Newmar has a hella impressive resume spanning 6 decades! See for yourself.
Also in the lot was a John Saxon-used swatch, and a couple of #ed cards, a parallel of some actor dude, and an insert of an MMA guy, but they were just the icing on the Americana II cake. I’m not sure exactly what the cost was anymore, but I do know I payed less than $8 for the lot (possibly less than $5). Regardless though, I do loves me some Donruss Americana, so it was more than worth it.
I think I like Americana because I am fascinated by historical stuffs, and it brings the goods.
I’ve got a few more suh-weet Americana hits to show off soon, including a legitimate sports LEGEND that had no business being in my price range. That my friends… was a tease.
Let’s meet again, in another place… and a better time.
The Lonestarr Personal Collection #3
Here is my epic Fukudome Japanese game-used ball card:
Exotic and Expensive... >.>
We don’t like to talk about how much I spent on this card… suffice to say, it’s the one time I really broke the bank on a card. I love the card, but what I spent on it still makes me hurt a little inside whenever I think about it. Let’s just “ooh” and “ahh” and comment it’s coolness and not dwell to deeply on the price, shall we? That way I’ll feel less guilty for knowing better but getting it anyway.
Having a conscience sucks when it always feels guilty…
All I Can Do is Smile…
October 13, 2009 at 18:09 (In This Life, Talkin' Baseball) (commentary, controversy, Eric Walker, logic, MLB, PEDs, performance enhancing drugs, steroids, validation)
For you see, someone out there has painstakingly taken all those little incomplete, fractured thoughts and misgivings that I can’t quite properly express or factually back up on my own, that gnaw at me when my mind comes to rest on the thought of performance enhancing drugs in baseball. I have mentioned before that I’m “over it” as far as steroid/PED drama was concerned, and (I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this). Please check out the link I’m dropping at the end of this post (will also be permanently linked on the side of my blog), and maybe have your mind blown.
I will say that if your mind is so thoroughly made up against PEDs, rational thought may not be able to reach you. Disappointing, but it happens. Regardless of how deep your bias runs, I ask you this: Of all the anti-PED sentiment out there, what/who has actually backed up their rhetoric with anything more than hearsay and vague stories/claims/etc? Who has ever presented scientifically-tested data and the words of noted experts to back up their often vitriolic anti-PED stances?
This is one of the key problems I have always had with this subject. I just cannot seem to find more than, at best, anecdotal evidence to support the dangers of performance enhancers (in adults). And as far as the moral and ethical reasons I’ve heard for how PEDs damage the credibility of the game, I don’t really buy into them all that much. At the very least they are infinitely debatable, and it really ticks me off when writers and politicians and even common fans shout from their soapboxes like they have any kind moral highground here, when they can’t back it up with anything but a chorus of people saying the exact same thing, nobody providing a good reason for it. It’s just a vicious cycle of BS, and to me it all rings hollow. And that’s a real good way to turn me off of what your selling in a big way real fast.
So we find ourselves here today. I happened upon this great lil website that has taken it upon itself to look at all the reasons performance enhancing drugs are being taken to task, and thoughtfully break every last one of them down into the quivering mass of lies, misconception, ignorance, and logical fallacies that ultimately rest at the heart of each issue. And glory be, does it ever cite it’s sources, they really did their homework, quite ably discrediting the misconceptions and lies surrounding steroids and PEDs and their negative effect on baseball and a person’s physical wellbeing, not to mention giving some useful opinions from people who have the background to give said opinions real weight on the ethical quagmire that performance enhancers in sports create.
As an added bonus, it also nicely illustrates just how incredibly screwed up our society is.
So yeah, if you see me smiling a little more wryly than usual, I might be feeling a little validated right now.
With that all tediously (depending on where you fall on the issue and what you think of my writing) said, here’s the link: Steroids, Other “Drugs”, and Baseball
Note of caution, there is a TON of stuff to take in over there.
If you give it a fair shot (or even if you don’t), please let me know what you think. I most definitely want to hear what y’all have to say about this. Like I said, I was basically reading my own personal thoughts on the subject and getting the proof for my misgivings that I didn’t have within me to seek out on my own. Agree or disagree, let’s get some intelligent discourse going.
You’re not going crazy, chum. You’re going sane in a crazy world!
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