Behind These Hazel Eyes

Messing with finishing typing up the rest of the Yankees for The Great Cardening of 2009 isn’t in the cards today, as it were.  As of right now I have been up over 29 1/2 hours straight (ended up being over 35 hours total), so although I am still pretty awake and coherent, messing with the ridiculous amount of Yankee cards I need to write down still is probably not the best of ideas.  I do have something that might be worth posting though.

As you probably don’t know, I have a LOOOOOOOONG overdue lot of cards needing to be sent to the beloved sports card blog royalty and all-around great ladies of Dinged Corners.  Now then, having finally decided what all to be sent, and getting the box to send the more than 200 cards in, I still felt like I needed to do something more.  So I have postponed the sending of the wonderful stack of cardboard happiness yet a little longer still.

Now I’m going to explain, and then show you, why.  You see, I have a problem.  I am a total f***-up.  It is what it is, and I hate myself for it.  So even sending an over-the-top lot like I am, it still doesn’t feel like enough.  Perhaps I am just overcompensating for my own self-loathing, but I like to go the extra mile when I can even when I’m not hating on myself.  So I decided I must do something unique to add to the awesome, perhaps giving myself a boost of positive energy in the process.

But what can I do to make 200+ cards even more awesome?  I only have two natural skills in my arsenal, three counting being less biased and more willing to listen and consider reason than your average human being.  But that one doesn’t really help me here, potentially handy as it may be from time to time.  My other two skills are more marketable, though I haven’t found it within myself to try and make money off of them yet.

The skills of which I… err, type, are of course, writing and drawing, as anyone who has given my blog the time of day might have noticed.  I don’t truly think I’m all that good at either, to be honest.  My dad and brother are both tremendously talented artists I feel I’ll always be reaching up towards, the effort to even match their respective talents being an impossible goal, to speak nothing of surpassing them.

As well, the closest person I can count as a best friend, though we have never met in person, is a brilliant writer, far beyond the wisdom and sophistication of her years.  Again, she is someone close to me who’s talent dwarfs my own supposedly formidable skills in one of the only things I have ever shown anything resembling a “gift” for.

But that is neither here nor there in this case, merely a glimpse Behind These Hazel Eyes, as this blog of mine’s title goes.  All of the above mentioned, and many others I’ve come to know and even care for, encourage the s*** out of me, for lack of a better term.  They are in fact the ones who consider my talent in both art and writing formidable, and hope (and in the case of said best friend, threaten violence ) that one day I’ll get my head right and man up, that I’ll make good on my gifts one day, suspect as I find them to be.

That, somewhere between brutally honest and tediously, all said, we come to back to the task at hand.  Something truly unique and interesting to make my end of a sickeningly long overdue trade even better.  I decided, since while I can turn a pretty decent phrase now and again, I’m not very good at speaking directly to an individual person, or in this case two, let alone in a way that can adequately describe anything involving my feelings or of thanks in any substantial way.

So right here and now, from the very depths of my soul, I will simply say *thank you* to Patricia and Lucy, for putting up with my laziness, short attention span, immaturity, lack of focus, repeated inability to do stuff in a timely manner, and anything else I might have missed… And I hope that the number of hours and amount of effort I put into turning a plain white, 39¢ storage box into a legitimate work of art, in some small way, helps to make your dealings with me, somehow, worth the time.

Here is part one (of six) of your custom storage box:

Once I’ve completed all four sides, the top and the flap, I will send it, crammed to the gills with as many cards as I can possibly fit.

.::~Outtro~::.