My mind and heart have been elsewhere, so here’s what’s up (what’s up!!).
The cards for Bailey from The Nennth Inning have been ready to go for awhile. They’ve been sitting on top of my computer monitor for close to two weeks waiting for my lazy arse to get to the post office. The ones for Dinged Corners are a different story. The sheer number of cards I’m sending will take too many of the little 25 cent cases I usually use to send out trades in, so I’m trying to come up with a better alternative. I’ll figure it out and get them sent out by the end of November 2009… probably. >.>
The Brewers are beginning to annoy me.
I hate to admit it, but I’m starting to be interested in all the political BS this year. And is it just me, or has business picked up steam later than usual this year? It might just be the fact I haven’t really been watching much TV for quite awhile.
Speaking of which, I’m getting really tempted to dump my digital cable. I really dispize Comcast for f***ing me around on my bill the first several months after they took over… but, the music and sports available in the high numbers, as well as WWE 24/7 and anime network, won’t let me from drop more than $7 or so worth of programming. I have got to find a better (or at least comparable and cheaper) alternative to Comcast’s internet service though. Read my lips Comcast… your internet service is NOT worth $35 a month.
I have all my stuff from September’s “money I shouldn’t have spent on eBay but did anyway” all here, but I’ve decided it’s better to hold off on dedicating any time or a post to them until I can do up some scans, or get a Photobucket or some such to at least link to or something. If nothing else, my personal collection received a nicer than usual upgrade, for less than I usually spend on eBay. I stayed pretty focused for once. Hopefully that post will be up in the very near future.
I haven’t been eating much… since this spring really, and lately I’ve been having a hard time keeping down stuff, particularly outside my normal faves. I’ve got a lower than normal appetite nowadays anyway. I only eat a normal amount of food a couple times a week at most usually, just eating one big meal or snacking throughout the day this summer and into the fall. All I’ve eaten, and felt like eating, in the last 24 hours is a 99 cent bag of chips and a Fudge Round, a third of a big tomato, and a little hunk of some kind of meat, a small amount of which I couldn’t keep down. I haven’t eaten in at least 16 hours and I’m not very hungry, except for maybe something relatively simple like a bag of popcorn or some other similarly simple snack food. Should I be concerned about this?
Sleeping has been a problem too. Why do I have such messed up and disturbing dreams when I miss my meds for a day or two? I am a vivid dreamer, but missing a day or two should not be causing such messed up ones. That’s not what they are for. How can a mood stabilizer (such as it is) do that, when such dreams were relatively rare before I started them three years or so ago?
I acknowledge I need to be taking something, even the small difference what I’m on makes in my mood helps, and for some reason they have the effect of helping me sleep a bit better, or at least a little more normal, albiet in a way that doesn’t feel “normal”. I only seem to do the staying up 24-36 hours thing about once a week on them, compared to *most of the time* and only being able to sleep 3-5 hours when I actually do sleep when taking nothing. I’m clearly not stable and always seem to be just a moment from snapping, especially when most everyone around me knows the buttons to push to make it happen, and push them with straight up impunity. I should be on something, but… I dunno.
I wonder if just being able to sleep properly would soothe the monster in me just as well as the small positive effect given by what I’m taking now. And I mean *ideally* without the effect of screwed up dreams and the unnatural lethargic feeling that goes along with the aforementioned side effect of this particular med’s sleepymaking. Is there some other med(s), or mayhaps something more natural, out there that will help me out in a less problematic way?
And *FINALLY*, I was distracted for awhile with video games and I’m still feeling the gamer in me, but I’m falling back into the funk related to the “Arizona Ominous” post again. I’d really love to be able to speak on it in more detail, but I just can’t. All I can do is be vague in regard to the whole situation like that post was. Suffice to say it’s really buggin’ the heck outta me though.
Until our next,