I haven’t had much to say lately, and… I still don’t. The scans are still missing, so that isn’t helping. Neither is the sleep restlessly for 4 hours, stay then stay up 11-12 hours doing pretty much nothing but stare blankly at the internet like I had been for most of the week until I restlessly slept most of the day yesterday (14-15 hours) till late last night. Haven’t been writing the sci-fi/fantasy stuff either, so it’s been a pretty fail kinda week.
Though that’s not to say I’ve been completely wasting my time in the dazed, half-conscious state that said sleep schedule and odd binge-ish eating caused (just mostly). I had the chance to reconnect with a couple of old Jtv friends that I regard (or regarded at one time) as nakama (caution, tvtropes is addictive) yesterday morning and early this morning as well. It did me good to see a couple friends from back in the day. The days weren’t better when I spent nearly every waking moment on that site, I was in a far worse way mentally than I am today (arguably), but I sure as heck met some really cool people when I hung out there.
Sometimes I think about the concept of nakama (leaning more towards the deeper otaku-given friends like family connotations), and wonder if it applies to us card bloggers, whether as a whole, or with specific bloggers? I mean, I think most of us have our own friends and family in real life, but the incredible generosity between card bloggers is truly a sight to behold. It’s not the kind of thing you see very often, people doing things for each other unsolicited. Not that cards are ultimately a thing of grave importance in the grand scheme of the universe or whatever, but they are what brings us all together, they are our common ground. As such, cards are significant to us as individuals, and to look out for one another’s interests with regards to them as most of us seem to do, is a rare and wonderful thing.
Maybe it’s just living such an isolated existence that leads me to ponder such things, due to general lack of trust in people, and not wanting to burden those I do with my f***ed upness. I don’t really understand or have but the most distant frame of reference for regular plain old friendship, and I’m not particularly close to my own family. I guess maybe that’s why I seek that kind of deeper kinship that nakama (with the western connotations) describes. I dunno if they would feel the same, but there are specific card bloggers my lazy arse would go to greater lengths for, beyond even the card and blogging realms.
And with the general vibe of “It’s no big deal, I know you’d do the same for me” I get when it comes to the awe-inspiring generosity, I can’t help but wonder if maybe there is something to it. But I guess it doesn’t really matter what I think. What does everyone else think?
Until our next…