One of those Nights…

It’s a cold, lonely night

And I’m stuck in the past again

Lost in memories

Of what I thought could have been

Can’t stop replaying

All the things I should have said to you

Everything I felt back then

You know it all still holds true

It never was

I know it never will be

No matter what I say

No matter what I wanna see

But I still lose all my senses

Rehashing our brief passing

And all the times you smiled at me

Make my lonely heart

Still want to believe

And I guess life goes on

Even when you can’t let the past go

No amount of pain

Can halt time’s unending flow

I cling to fading shadows

In the dying light

Of another sleepless night

I know I never had a chance

But I’m sorry I never tried

And when I’m at my weakest

It kills me deep inside

I keep chasing something

I know was never there

But when I’m missing you

The signs are everywhere

And I guess life goes on

Even when you can’t let the past go

No amount of pain

Can halt time’s unending flow

I cling to fading shadows

In the dying light

of another sleepless night

And I guess life goes on

Even when you can’t let the past go

No amount of pain

Can halt time’s unending flow

I cling to fading shadows

In the dying light

of another sleepless night

Just another damn sleepless night…


Another Cards and Poetry Post

Twitter has juuuust enough characters for me to create mediocre-at-best tanka (5-7-5-7-7) and haiku, and there’s a beautiful soul on there that encourages me to do so whenever possible.  I’ve reeled off several since yesterday, so I might as well leave ’em here while I’m at it.  I don’t seem to be showing up on Blogger blogrolls at the moment anyway, so it isn’t like anyone is gonna see these or care.

Still, while there’s no common theme in my head to go with it this time, I will disperse the cards I didn’t end up using in my other recent “cards and poetry” post throughout, just in case. 😉

Just a little bit

out of step with time and space

Reality feels

less real when you can see the

other side of the fourth wall

'58 Milt Pappas RC..

’58 Milt Pappas RC..

The writing on the

wall; text just blurs together

when you’ve given up

This fight isn’t worthy of

my mind’s main stage anymore…

1970 Topps Ron Santo AS..

1970 Topps Ron Santo AS..

Riding the icy

wind through this sad, soulless town

My barren valley…

Only wasted potential

and broken promise remain

1974 Rookie Infielders..

1974 Rookie Infielders..

I’m a darker soul

than you’d ever want to keep

But I can still help

light the way through your darkness

My hope glows against the night

Tim Raines RC..

Tim Raines RC..

My mind is fractured

inscrutable, unstable

Even when I’m good

I’ll never be quite alright

Stay away, it’s for the best…

BowPlat Javier Barz Cutting Edge Star..

BowPlat Javier Barz Cutting Edge Star..

What good is there in

a creator lacking the

focus to create?

I guess the sketchy poetry is technically creating, but it isn’t the thing that’s likely to get me anywhere… Anyway, if you get this, thanks for stopping by.

 Until our next…

Now and Then, Here and There

'61 Post Ron Santo..

’61 Post Ron Santo..

Time marches on

BowChro Bryant/Moran Dual-ing Die-Cuts..

BowChro Bryant/Moran Dual-ing Die-Cuts..

The days pass

1995 CARDZ WCW Main Event Booker T..

1995 CARDZ WCW Main Event Booker T..

The weeks, the months, the years…

2014 Topps WWE Chrome Adrian Neville NXT Prospects..

2014 Topps WWE Chrome Adrian Neville NXT Prospects..

As we wander through our lives

Trifecta-completing Brandon Phillips RC..

Trifecta-completing Brandon Phillips RC..

Lost spirits on this lonesome path

Alshon Jeffery Inception Purple #'ed 41/99..

Alshon Jeffery Inception Purple #’ed 41/99..

Uncertain and unwinding

D-Lee Atomic Refractor..

D-Lee Atomic Refractor..

The wrinkles on our brow get a little deeper

Big Cat RC..

Big Cat RC..

The glasses on our face get a little thicker

Rizzo Red, White, and Blue Prizm..

Rizzo Red, White, and Blue Prizm..

Seasons come and seasons go

Leaf Sports Heroes Red  auto 1/3..

Leaf Sports Heroes Dominique Moceanu Red auto 1/3..

Champions are crowned and the losers go home

The greatest RC photo of all-time, Purple Cracked Ice edition..

The greatest RC photo of all-time, Purple Cracked Ice edition..

We lose ourselves in the past

Fridge RC!

Fridge RC!

Longing for our glory days, safe and certain

'75 Bill Madlock..

’75 Bill Madlock..

Engulfed in the rose-hued haze of memorialized time

'58 Vic Power..

’58 Vic Power..

While trying to live for a future left in doubt

Billy McKinney Orange Mini Refractor #'ed 8/50..

Billy McKinney Mini Orange Refractor #’ed 8/50..

When all we have that’s a given

Finest Warriors Taijuan Walker..

Finest Warriors Taijuan Walker..

Is the right here

2014 Bowman Platinum Carlos Santana Magenta Printing Plate..

2014 Bowman Platinum Carlos Santana Magenta Printing Plate..

And the right now

Bowman Heritage Soler Road to the Show..

Bowman Heritage Soler Road to the Show..

Until our next…


When you’ve been alone forever

How are you supposed to feel

When you aren’t beautiful

Or amazing

Or special in any way

When you’re just you

And then someone from forever away just blows your mind

Like, every time

That all it takes is just seeing their name

For you to just all lose control

You don’t really know them at all

And they know you even less

They probably don’t even care about you

Who are you anyway

You’re just some random jackass

Nothing special

No potential left to blow

Little hope for the future

That’s all that’s left of you

But what does it mean

When someone just makes you feel completely stupid and insane

And you never want to lose that feeling as long as you live

What is this feeling

The chemical reaction they cause in your messed up little brain

Why is it so exhilarating

Why are you so scared to feel this way

And why are you so afraid to lose that feeling

What does it mean

Why can’t you let it go

Don’t you wish they would just shoot you down already

Wouldn’t that make it easier

Don’t know

Just don’t know

I feel so completely unhinged…

Soul Writer

I can do this

And I will do this

And I should have done this

A long time ago

Fuck the pride

And fuck the pain

The tedium and the strain

This is who I am

What I’m meant to do

Who I’m meant to be

I am a writer

I write for myself

I write from my soul

This is what I do

And now it’s time prove

I’m more than the mess

That stands before you today

Untitled Poetry

I don’t really know how or why it happens, but from time-to-time, I get in such a way that I can fire off a full and relatively decent (going by feedback anyway) poem or song in well under an hour.  I guess it’s the poetic version of being “in the zone”.  It happened again yesterday morning sort of, though this time I know where the inspiration came from.  I awoke from a hauntingly sad dream, and some of the words were already on my lips.  So I typed them down as accurately as my less than fully awake mind would allow and went from there.  Never was able to come up with a title for it though.  Anyway, fair warning, this isn’t a happy one.  At all.

And now when I stalk these halls

There’s no one here to answer the calls

All hope is gone

There’s no smiles, nothing left to see

With all my heart I defended you for so long

But one slip-up and you’re long gone

My childish eyes, they didn’t realize

That you were having problems too

And I wasn’t there like you needed me, it’s true

Thought it was enough, to stand up for you

But you needed more than I ever knew

More than a child could ever give

More than I could hope to understand

I was too young to be a man

So you left me high & dry

To trudge through my crappy life

Left me with nothing

No hope, no happiness, no reason left to smile

It feels like a bad dream

When I stalk these halls

And you aren’t here to answer my call

It doesn’t feel right, no

Not at all

Not at all…

Until our next…

And Now, Poetry

Once Upon A Memory

They say

Every day

That it was always better

In the olden days

That now

The skies are dark & gray

And looking back

Is the only way

Nothing could be better

Than our golden age

No nothing could be greater

Than the games

We used to play

To remember the good times

We gloss over the bad

Shove to the back

The things that made us sad

But what about now

What about how

The things that bring joy

To this dark lonely day

So much to your dismay

Are today’s trials any worse

Than the things we used to curse

Do faces in the crowd

Still scream out loud

Crying out from the past

For a justice that lasts

Everyone looks the same

In, rose-tinted hues

But the bad things we’ve done

Must not be forgotten

When we look back through our past


It’s just as it is today

Darkness and light intermixed

Scales of color, scales of gray

And think

Once upon a memory

Things may be different now

The circumstances may have changed

But that doesn’t mean

We’re worse off than we were

And maybe

We are even still okay

Just a little something I whipped in about 30-35 minutes, just before I started this post.  Lemme know what you think!

Nope, I’m still on hiatus…