Shoutouts #3: Bad Way Day

Oh man, my state of mind pretty much sucks right now.  I don’t even know where to begin.  I guess I’ll just do some shoutouts, since I have some to make.  I think, I don’t know.  I feel like s*** right now.  Lets see where it goes.

First, Mario Alejandro of Wax Heaven (pffft, as if you read mine first and need a link to go over there)… Thank you for the e-mail.  I never accused or ever even considered any actual bias on your part, but thank you for filling in the blanks and getting my facts all straight for me.  My recollections on some details were… hazy, and would have been even if I was well rested.  I stand by what I had to say and my overall message (whatever it was…), but I’m not sure I made my personal feelings on the matter clear.

Basically my personal feeling on it all is this: I’m glad JV shined the flashlight of truth or whatever on things, but ehh, it doesn’t really bother me.

This just handed to me… received another email from Mario saying not to worry about making an edit or anything.  Umm, too late? 😛

Wow that was long… NEXT!

To the man behind the curtain over at Boxbusters, I’m glad you liked the cards I sent am eagerly awaiting yours.  Also, sorry I can never remember your name.  The combined memory capabilities of my parents is written into my DNA, so sometimes, names just don’t register like they should.

To Dinged Corners… it’s not like the package is even ready to go yet, but I don’t think I have the bubble mailer with your address on it anymore.  You said something about sending everyone that offered up on the Baseball Heroes trade a little something, so I’ll wait for that and send out my stuff immediately (I hope…) thereafter.

To the Sandman?  Where were you last night.  I was freakin’ tired, dude!

To Jacky Muffin, thanks for talking me down when I had that mental spazzout today.  You are the best.

Shoutout to whom it may concern… about the promised update to the internet romance saga I attempt to find myself in, against all the bananas odds.  It is getting interesting, but I have no idea how to explain right now.  Maybe I’ll know more soon.

I thought I had more, but I guess not.  My head hurts and I need to be up early and do crapola tomorrow.  So goodnight cruel world.  Things will be better after I sleep though.

See you, Space Cowboy

Can’t We All Just Get Along??

I was about to crash.  I really need to sleep.  I’ve slept MAYBE two of the last 30+ hours.  Not for any reason other than I have trouble sleeping sometimes, but still, I was just going to check my blog links real quick, read my friend’s column, and then, mercifully, go to sleep.  Had I not had stomach *issues*(saying any more would be TMI) stemming from the cream of mushroom soup I had for dinner, I would have been asleep sooner still and never even made it to the blogosphere tonight.

As you know from a couple posts ago, I’ve got bigger things on my mind right now.  A new post on that will be coming tomorrow probably.  Oh lordy is that business ever getting interesting.  But back to my SCB links right now, which haven’t been touched in probably close to two days.  It seems I missed out on a pretty big s***storm while I was away.  All the big names, the stars and unlisted stars of our little corner of cyberspace as it were, as well as pretty much everyone else that hangs out around here, got their say.  How exciting.

I don’t know if it’s too late to have my say, nor do I care.  What I read is bugging the crap out of me, so I will give my entirely unsolicited thoughts; I won’t be able to sleep well if it’s still on my mind anyway.  Wouldn’t be the first, and won’t be the last time I’m late to the party with an entry.  Maybe if there’s not closure for everyone just yet, this’ll be it.  With everything tediously said, here’s what I have to say.

In the red corner, we have Wax Heaven, the numero uno sports card blog on the web, recently sponsored by Upper Deck, run by Mr. Hard Luck himself, Mario Alejandro.

In the blue corner, JV of Treasures Never Buried, actually inspired by much supported by Wax Heaven itself, and quite possibly the most well-written sports card-centric blog going today.

I wonder if I didn’t put them in the wrong colored corners in regards to their political stances.  Oh well gentlemen, my blog, my rules.

Anyway, the problem between them… Mario, for whatever reason was less than forthcoming about three boxes of cards in question in the past few months.  JV noticed this and brought it, all but kicking and screaming, to the forefront.  Mario skated around the issue, seemingly frustrating JV to no end.  I think we all know Mario didn’t say where they came from because it would have started the controversy train early.  And clearly becoming Upper Deck’s box breaker was meant to be a surprise.

We should’ve all been aware that there was a certain Upper Deck-ness to Mario’s blog, because people within the company had the foresight to send him press releases and such, while Topps hasn’t seemed intrested in our existence out here in blogland at all.  It didn’t seem to be any big secret that people within Upper Deck were droppng the knowledge.  I recall mention of ol’ boy Mario knowing someone there, and people from UD have popped up in comments section more than once.  Perhaps it is ultimately Topps who were the ones with the foresight, for once, to not even bother messing around with it.  Maybe I’m giving them too much credit though.  They do have that doofy “Rip Master” guy after all, so I probably am.  They don’t factor into this anyway though, so whatever.

Ultimately, what matters here is Mario DID in fact lie, whether intentionally misleading or not, and JV called him on it, and for skating around the issue, which was entirely just, but in a way that was oddly loud and harsh.

When Mario said that he had in fact received the boxes from Upper Deck, I admit I felt something go off in my head, but it didn’t register as suspicion.  It was just “Huh, that didn’t seem to make sense.  Oh well…”.  I pretty much completely missed the suspicious elements of the boxes in question when they appeared.  They seemed vaguely amiss for some reason, but didn’t come close to raising any red flags.  Honestly, I was more concerned with the fact that something good actually happened to Mario and family for once.  It has been one helluva year for them.  But back to the matter at hand…

What we have here is Mario being less than truthful for what seem to me to be fairly obvious and somewhat justifiable reasons, and JV justly calling him out for lying and then (fairly succussfully) trying to take the focus off himself and his actions, if harshly and not in a very appropriate way.  That’s all there really is to what happened.  The why and reactions though are what we need to look at now though.

First of all, for the people calling JV jealous… um, no.  There is literally NOTHING I can think of that he’s said to back up that claim.  It reads more like heartbroken to me.  JV said it himself, Wax Heaven was an integral part of him becoming a blogger in the first place, and giving him many of his hits.  The guy that “made him”, for lack of a better term, betrayed his trust.  Yes, as JV has repeatedly stated, Mario’s blog is #1 and should be held to the highest standard amongst us so long as he is THE MAN amongst us and continues to post regularly, personal life hell or not, Tatiana.

Really though, it feels more like the reason JV really went the extra mile on all the research and effort he put into things… is to call out his (sorta) “mentor” because his actions, which WERE questionable, really bothered and perhaps even hurt him.  The reason he’s all but cussing you out in the comments, Tatiana, is because this was a quite possibly very personal thing for him.  If the person that was the reason you did something meaningful… and helped you get to a point where you were a fairly big deal in that field, did something that really bothered you, and wouldn’t even give you the time of day… who wouldn’t feel hurt and betrayed by that?  And as right or wrong as the reason(s) and the way JV went about everything may be (pretty much all wrong, in my opinion), JV did shine a light on something that someone less self-aware *cough*like me*cough* needed to know about.

Remember, the whole steroid thing in baseball didn’t start for the good of keeping young people off the juice, it was because hallowed records were being straight up OBLITERATED at a nigh-impossible rate.  The real positives didn’t come until later.

Lest you think I’m bias towards either, I feel both were at fault, Mario for not being truthful in the first place and then skewing the issues, JV for acting on impulse, being way too rash and hotheaded.  However, while they may never be on especially friendly terms again (not to mention them with me if they don’t like this post…) there is a quite simple thing to do next that may ease whatever hard feelings remain *gets out his Mario and JV hand puppets* (No I don’t really have puppets of them, smart***… :P):

Mario- “I should have said where the boxes came from in the first place.  I shouldn’t have tried to downplay it, making you look like a hater jerk in the process, either.  I’m sorry.”

JV- “I should have gone to you to find out what the deal was first.  And if I still felt the need to go public, I should have been less rash and more focused in the explanations for my arguments.  I’m sorry too.”

*Mario and JV hug it out*

… Yeah, don’t expect that to happen, but just admit *to each other* what you may have done wrong, even if you may not have realized you done wrong at the time.  Let bygones be bygones and don’t hold any ill will toward each other.  Maybe it can’t go back to how it was before, but there is no need for there to be a grudge held by either of you afterward.

I try my best to stay positive and focus on the positive aspects of others, so this won’t change my opinion of either of them.  I can only hope to become close to as good a men as they both are.  I’m sure they will both come out of this a bit more jaded and untrusting, but they will still both be aces to this little chump.  I like and respect both Mario and JV and enjoy reading their blogs.  I hope neither loses any readership over this and that they both continue to prosper.  They are two of the best at what they do, and I wish them well.  I still hope be able to trade with both of them (again in Mario’s case) sometime, as well as Dayf, who I had my own little issue with.  Maybe I’m weird, but unless I’m attacked personally and in mean spirit, I can deal with you.  Let’s all just try to get along and trade some cool cards, shall we?

Can I please go to sleep now?  I’m missing out on dreaming about someone dear to me.

Until our next,

Me

Shoutouts #2

I don’t have anything deep or serious to say, I’m pretty drained.  The perpetual headache and butterflies in my stomach I’ve been feeling the past few days have pretty much subsided, though I’ll be feeling it again soon I’m sure.  I have a few shout outs to make.

First of all, shout out to Mario over at Wax Heaven.  Congratulations on being in business for a full year.  Congratulations on the great interview with Dick Perez.  Congratulations on being sponsored by Upper Deck.  Maybe I’m just naive, but it never even crossed my mind that a conflict of interest could happen until I read everybody freaking out about it.  Regardless, good luck as year two begins, Mario!

To The Nennth Inning and Boxbusters, I received confirmation that your cards from me were sent out sometime during last week.  Hopefully they will arrive soon.

And for Boxbusters specifically, even if by some off chance I actually do manage to win your contest, sorry about the ridiculously long and spazzy entry. >.>

Shout out to Dinged Corners.  Still haven’t sent out the cards yet.  However I’ve pulled some more Zitos to put in the lot going out to you.  One is green, shinny, and #’d to /99.

For anyone who may know, is there a way I can change my time on WordPress?  It’s several hours ahead, and I’d like it to be on US time at least.  It is totally not 4am as I write this.

To my buddy D-Train, thanks for the help.  It couldn’t have been easy to take that trip down memory lane.  I really appreciate it.  You are a lifesaver.

Finally to my home girl Jacky Muffin, hope you are well and having a good trip, darlin’.  Talk to ya soon hopefully.

I guess that about does it.  Imma go draw a picture and maybe eat something.

Over and out!

Out of My League, Into My Heart

Have you ever fallen head over heels for someone, that was way out of your league in seemingly every conceivable way?  What if that person treated your goofy self better than you’ve ever been treated in your life?  What if that person was already in a relationship?  What if said relationship was failing?

I don’t know if I’ve got a shot, or if I even deserve one, but… I can’t help feeling how I feel.  Even though she has been so sweet, I honestly don’t know if she has the slightest interest in me.  All I’ve got that might point to yes (or maybe), is a question that I can’t even get acknowledged by her.  Still, I admitted my feelings, in no uncertain terms, today.

When I write, sometimes I can’t stop myself from letting out all of the thoughts I’m thinking, and emotions I’m feeling.  It is what it is, I am a fairly honest and open person when I’m writing.  Ultimately, I want her to be happy, as happy as she makes me.  It’s next to impossible to feel bad around her.  Even though I shouldn’t feel like I do because I ain’t s***, got no money and no plan, and neither of us are exactly on solid footing in our respective lives, this is how I feel.  I would do anything for her, be there for her no matter what.  Is this love that I’m feeling deep inside, that’s making hard to breathe, that’s making me feel like a real and genuine person for the first time in my life?  In truth, I’m afraid to say…

She said she’s pretty much resigned herself to the fate that her current relationship is doomed to fail.  I said I’d be there to catch her if it does.  If she calls on me, I will drop everything in the joke of the life I’m living and go to her.  I’ve been afraid to leave, because well, this life I have here may not be a worthwhile one, but it’s simple and easy.  That makes it hard to step away, because when I do, it’s gone forever.  Deep down I knew I’d never be whisked away, never be saved, from the life I have here.  But… I’ve always dreamed, over the four+ years I’ve been struggling internally with leaving, there would be a good reason to go when I finally went.  She is the best.

I don’t know what happens next.  I won’t be seeing her again for about three days.  Things will have changed in my own life in that time.  It’s going to be a long and… really long, weekend.  Guess we’ll see how it goes.

Until our next.

To be continued…

UPDATE: Should have mentioned this… why I’m gonna be waiting over the weekend to see how this transpires, is because a whole host of factors stemming from the spur-of-the-moment nature of my admission prevented any conclusions from being made at the time.  All that’s been established… is that I didn’t get shot down then & there.

Yes, this stuff is complicated, and I’m in WAY over my head.  And no, trying to sort everything out in my head while dealing with emotions I’ve never had before isn’t helping.  Thanks for asking.

Controversy Creates Hits?

This blog doesn’t get a whole lot of hits, which you can see on the side, 248 as I write this, my 19th post.  This doesn’t bother me a bit.  I kinda dig the anonymity, and a friend of mine said my writing called to mind Bill Simmons (The Sports Guy), which coming from a fairly big fan of Bill Simmons, is highly positive feedback as far as I’m concerned.  I dig The Sports Guy’s writing myself.

As it is, I write fairly breezily, about whatever happens to be on my mind.  It can get pretty epic in length, but I try to keep it pretty chill and not get too much into serious matters.  And it’s only a sports card blog because that happens to be the hobby I’ve wrapped myself up in.  If I had fallen all the way back into video games, that would be dominating my writing here and now.  If Arizona called me, I’d be writing about my experiences there, trying to start a new life and find work and sort out my feelings and issues.  Point is, this is about my life.  Even that shorty that was really just a link played a part in my lack of sleep this morning.  I had a nightmare about John McCain becoming President, so I found an outlet to post that glorious rant that I read the night before, which may have directly caused that nightmare.

That was what the original idea for this thing was, my life, how I see the world, what fascinates me, what I do, and dealing with my issues.  As random as all of that can be… it’s all about me.  It’s a diary.  That’s all a blog is after all a public diary.  And after a false start a few months ago, that’s what it has become.  I’m actually quite proud of that, hits be damned.

That all tediously said, I noticed an interesting thing on my hit chart I thought I’d mention.  This is just another part of me; I’ve been a stat geek at least since as far back as my memory takes me, which is about three years old.  As I said, I don’t care about the hits, but I do notice patterns in them.  And sometimes, they fascinate me.  Blah blah blah, get the point.  Yeah yeah, here it is.

I’ve only had two days of more than 15 hits since I started things back up.  They were 38 and 46 on back-to-back days, directly proceeding said day of 15 hits.  Those happened to be the only two days I’ve written anything harsh or serious, that even required a lot of thought and/or effort on my part.  If I’ve said anything controversial, it was the What the Hell, Cubs Fans? and Buggin’ posts.  Those posts were written within that three day window that went 15, 38, 46 hits, then dropping back to low teens, to nearly nothing when I didn’t write anything the last couple of days.  I know that a few hits can be accounted for being added to Shoebox Legends‘ blogroll, but no way would much change take place, unless something was said to make people come see.  This leads me to believe that whatever was somehow controversial about what I wrote caused the spike.

These are also the only two posts that had a proper comment about the content and wasn’t just replying to a question directed directly at the specific person that answered.

As I’ve stated on yet another post, I clearly have too much time on my hands.  But little statistical anomalies kinda fascinate me.  I won’t be tackling anything else of such a nature unless they have an effect on me, but after talking this out for myself here, which was basically the point of this post, I don’t think I need the question mark in my title.

Over and out!

A Hot Streak of “Junk” Hits

On the heels of Saturday’s “junk” hit extravaganza (Michael Saunders prospect jersey, Ramon Hernandez jersey, and 1:65 pack Jason Schmidt parallel out of only six packs), Tuesday netted me another “junk” hit.  A three pack for $5, uhh… pouch, from K-Mart, scored me an ’07 Allen & Ginter Scott Podsenik bat card.  I wasn’t collecting baseball when they came out the previous years, so I wanted to get one of them.  The pack was giving off those vibes I can’t explain, that I get from virtually every pack I get a hit out of.  My super power of getting (usually junk) hits out of retail packs without searching them is working better than it probably ever has.  Considering it was a three pack pouch that prevented me choosing anything else (nothing of note in the ’07 Upper Deck or Topps series two lamo 6-card, 99 cent pack), and the bat card came out of the pack I was after in the first place, that amounts to a hit or tough pull non-hit in 4 out of my last 7 packs.

As an aside, I don’t actually consider any of these guys junk.  Ramon has been one of the most consistently productive catchers in baseball over the course of his 8 year career, Michael Saunders is a prospect that appears to have some promise, and might actually turn out pretty decent, Jason Schmidt is a solid pitcher (ask my Cubbies about that *cries*), and Scott Podsednik is one of the more feared base stealers of his generation, not to mention a freakin’ world series hero for crying out loud.

The card itself is very strange.  The little wedge of bat is in place on the card and held down by the frame, but it’s loose in there and can be moved around a bit.  That totally caught me off guard.  Not that it’s a bad thing though.  Just… surprising.  Steve of White Sox Cards gets this bad mamma-jamma, seeing as he’s depicted as a member of the Sox on the card (I honestly don’t remember if Scott played for them in 2007 or not… thanks for the combination of your crappy ability to remember stuff written into my DNA, parents! ;P).  My White Sox stack is getting pretty big again, so maybe pulling this is a sign we need to trade once more.

That’s the great thing about all this, one person’s junk hit is another person’s significantly less junky hit… or something.  I dunno, there’s too much junk floating around in my head lately.

Over and out!